Financially, one person tends to earn more money than the other, so unless you both add the same amount of money, there is no way the finances will be equal. Household chores are mostly done according to the time available. My husband normally works 50-60 hours a week and his job is very physical. I work a lot less than him. I have more time to clean and also it seems more important to me that the house is clean than my husband. But did my husband take pride in the outside of our house, so did he spend an entire Saturday cutting the grass and trimming the bushes, or was this his way of escaping the madness inside the house? Our priorities were not always the same. Our biggest challenge when the kids were little is that they gravitated towards me more, especially because I was home and spent more time with them. As they grew up, it seemed like I was still the chosen parent. So driving and carpooling became my specialty. It's not that my husband wasn't willing to help me, but only when I couldn't and it felt like I had to be the one asking for it. I thought no one would ask me but I knew someone had to