How to Cheat WellI just turned in my last set of grades of the semester. This is always a big weight lifted off my shoulders, but since it will be the last set of grades I give at University, it's an even bigger relief. And so I think it's time for me to "give back," as the kids say. I had a final exam to take home 24 hours a day (distance learning, so "stay at home"?). Students had to submit it in text format, and most submitted it in Word. During the exam, I noted that "I expect everyone to behave honorably" and noted that receiving assistance from others or plagiarizing work was a bad idea. I would rather students not cheat. Yes, they are actually mostly cheating themselves, so that's good. But it also reflects negatively on the community. Rationally or not, what particularly bothers me is that it is disrespectful: to me, to their fellow students, to the university, to the educational institution, and to themselves. And... did I mention... about me? It's especially annoying when their cheating implies (remember?) that they're a fool. So, to help students across the country cheat better, saving themselves both from easy detection and from incurring the wrath of insulted teachers, and leading to a much more harmonious school environment, I offer the following suggestions, based on recent experience :1. Don't cheat the family. If you are in a class of several hundred people and share an unusual last name with another student in the class, your response to an open-ended short answer question had better not be identical, word for word. This is especially true when the answer is wrong, and when it is peculiarly so. Many professors, like me, evaluate "blindly", without referring to the names of the students, but it is still quite easy when you find something like this to trace the names. My suggestion, in this case, is to continue copying and pasting the answer, but to legally change your name. A marriage of convenience can solve the problem.2. Don't speak English. The only people allowed to use the word "color" are those with Indian surnames. “I weigh,” you might argue, “I was taken and burned to the ground in the English countryside.” I have no doubt, but your Commonwealth heritage is not easily discernible from your surname, so I'm afraid you will have to switch to the Amerkin spelling to work in my lessons.