A Response to Carroll's An American Requiem In one passage Carroll describes himself as two separate people; everyone seems to have their own convictions and beliefs. He says, "I was two people, and considered independently, each of me seemed to have a coherence and integrity that was belied by the fact that I couldn't put them together. For a long time I couldn't speak." If each of his halves were a real person, those two people would both be amazing and strong and amazing. However, these two are contrasting sides in a person. In another passage, Carroll describes his father as "more firmly grounded in what is than he has any right to be. If he says no, even to God, that's what he means. If he tells you he's going to kill you, count on it it. And if he uses the word 'love' - but he almost never will." Carroll and his father are described quite differently. Carroll divided in two, does not seem to be able to form a whole person. He cannot reconcile these two halves. His father, on the other hand, is so confident that he knows exactly how he thinks and doesn't need to be dishonest. He is firm in his beliefs. I think we've all felt like Carroll at one time or another... like we're living a double life. In high school I went out with my friends and did things my parents never knew about. At home I was their daughter, their little girl. They had no idea who I was when I went out with my peers on weekends. If my parents found out what my friends were doing, I would agree with them that it's stupid or wrong and say "oh yeah, I can't believe he would do that!" Of course I had been there with her and done the same things. I was comfortable with my friends because I was just like them; I looked good to my parents because I didn't look like my friends. I was two people. There was no way the two could coexist. I couldn't be the person I was around my friends when I was out with my parents, and I couldn't be my parents' little girl when I was out with my friends. Carroll says that for "a long time [he] could not speak." He was suffocating with his two separate lives; Who is James Carroll? It's hard to speak with honesty and conviction when you don't exist. You are two people, but you are really no one. On the contrary, his father is more of a person than one might imagine. He says exactly what he means. You have to believe him. He has enough courage to say no to God because he means it. Maybe we shouldn't say no to God, but at least when Carroll's father does, he's being honest. Don't lie to God. Is it better to follow God when He's not in your heart because you won't tell Him "no", or is it better to be honest about it? I think we all wish in some way that we could be like this father and know exactly what we want and how we feel. That we could all be completely honest with everyone and with ourselves. How is it possible that a father with such belief could have a child split into two halves? Is it the age difference... the maturity difference? Was this father the same way his son was when he was younger? { I do not know.}